Home Businesses, Preschoolers, and Chaos

I am a man under siege. As I type this, two small, ferret-like creatures are apparently trying to scratch their way under my office door. They are persistent, only stopping long enough to squabble. They are loud. And they call me ‘'Dad.’'

Looking around, I often wonder how I found myself caring for two preschoolers and running a semi-established home business. More often, I simply wonder how I do it. My wife says she couldn't, and I believe her. She's a college teacher, dedicated to her career and loving it. However, put her in my position (as she was forced to be after two C-sections) and within a few weeks she starts digging escape holes out of the house with spoons.

So here I am, running an on-line business that requires quiet, and acting as a combination Dad/Disciplinarian/Lion-Tamer for two children who could exhaust the hyper-manic. In my prouder moments I see myself as Super-Dad, battling diapers with one hand, stirring soup with the other and typing freelance articles with my feet. More often than not, this blissful vision is interrupted by the alarm clock.

More realistically, the house is a battleground of chaos. I have but two rules: don't interrupt my work unless someone is bleeding, and let's get this cleaned up before your mother get home.

The last is less of a rule and more of a tacit agreement I negotiated with the kids. They can level the house around my ears, just as long as when Mom gets home, she can walk the floors without fear.

During the day I run a gauntlet of toddler traps just to get a drink of water. Out of the office, step on a hard yellow plastic representation of Pikachu. Up the stairs, nudge the tricycle out of the way and almost tumble over one of our cats as she hurtles to safety. Across the hall into the kitchen, dodge my daughter as she leaps out dressed in her mother's flannel nightshirt and my slippers. Into the kitchen. Remove my son from the fridge where he's eating sour cream with a spoon. Lecture on appropriate snacks, but praise use of spoon because--hey! last time he didn't have one. Gulp down glass of water. Repeat process back downstairs only to hear a loud crash and screaming. Return upstairs. Repeat as necessary, all the while intoning the mantra of the stay-at-home dad:

‘'They'll be in school full-time soon.’'